Theme Parked
by akblake
Summary: The trio are thrown out of a theme park and decide that they must have revenge. Chaos ensues... More comedy than romance, and not explicit :) Eliot/Parker/Hardison


"You want us to _what_?" Hardison asked incredulously, voice climbing in tandem with his irritation.

The park employee's eyes flicked down to stare at the ground as he shuffled uncomfortably. "The park manager is asking you three to leave as you're violating the decency rules," he restated.

Eliot growled and Parker shifted to press against his side. "How exactly are we 'indecent'? We're fully clothed, and are not groping each other in full public view, unlike four other couples we could point out." His even and controlled tone seemed to make the teenaged employee even more skittish and he shifted from foot to foot.

"Um. Well, Mister Benito says _that_," he pointed at their joined hands, Parker sandwiched between Eliot and Hardison, "is indecent and morally offensive to normal folks. He's banned you, and I'm to escort you out of the gates."

Silence met his stumbling declaration and they could hear the roar of a distant roller coaster, followed by its riders' screams. Hardison began sputtering incoherently in outrage and Parker had an unnervingly assessing glare as Eliot calmly dragged them all out of the side exit they were directed to. Putting up a public fight may soothe their highly offended egos, but Eliot knew his lovers better- revenge would be the order of the day, and for that they needed to be in their apartment, not in county lockup on charges of disturbing the peace.

Once back home, the three settled in for a quick meeting. "Okay, so we're going to be our own clients for this one?" Parker bounced in her chair as she summed up their position against the discriminating park. They truly had only been holding hands, and perhaps exchanging a few chaste kisses, but far less than the newlywed couple they'd seen groping each other while standing in line, or the younger teens who looked like they were trying to consume each other's faces.

"Yeah, mama, we're going to take them down, hard. I looked up their company rules and they only list indecent exposure and lewd and lascivious behavior, which we certainly were _not_." Eliot and Parker were nodding with him- for all their indoor shenanigans, none of them could see the logic in making a public spectacle of their relationship. The three knew they were together and loved each other, beyond that it was no one else's business.

Eliot watched the two younger thieves collaborating and had to hide his grin. They were adorable when plotting and at least this time it wasn't a practical joke that he'd have to step into. "Do you two know what you're planning to do?" With Nate and Sophie off on their honeymoon, it left them short a mastermind and grifter, so Eliot was going to step into the guiding role. Plus, he had a few ideas of his own swirling around the back of his mind.

"Do I ever!" Hardison crowed, twirling his laptop around to show unintelligible lines of code scrolling in an open window. "I got access to their control systems- all those electronically-controlled rides are mine now." He carried off into mumbling about his great plan, how the park would love his new 'enhanced' rides, and the other two simply smiled indulgently. He could be such a geek, and they loved him for it.

Parker grinned widely as she reported her idea. "I'm going to break in tonight and switch around all their merchandise. Maybe change everything out for the arcade game prizes, or put them on the rides," her eyes sparkled with glee as the possibilities flashed through her mind. It wouldn't exactly be stealing, but close enough to thrill her. "What about you, Eliot? You've been quiet- doesn't this bother you too?"

Now both of his loves were watching him curiously, having both noticed his personal restraint. "Bothers me plenty, sweetheart, but I've learned that there are bigoted assholes everywhere, and I can't just go and beat them up when they piss me off," Eliot explained, grabbing Parker's hand and kissing her rope-calloused palm. "Since you two will be doing your own projects, I'll coordinate with Hardison and watch your back when you break in, Parker." That earned a forceful kiss from Hardison as he walked passed to go set up his station. If they were going to move tonight on Parker's plan, then he'd need to get the rest of his hacking done, and perhaps play around a bit in their other electronic systems to see what other devilment he could cause. Parker swung around the table to plop into Eliot's lap. "So, if we're not going to break in until tonight," Eliot drawled as he pulled her close, "you got any ideas on how we can pass the time?" Parker's top flying over to whap the back of Hardison's head was her only answer. Hardison snickered in response and settled in to watch the show they were providing while he kept half an eye on his program.

After full dark they carried out their plans, and Eliot supervised Parker's hours spent moving, rearranging, and switching things around inside the park. He laughed outright at the indecent staging in the case of a panda, wolf, and spider monkey stuffed animals which she left, spotlighted and on the jumbo screen, on the park's theater stage. Their girl truly had a sick mind, though neither of the guys would ever complain about it. Parker giggled to herself the entire way back home, and Eliot immersed himself in her mirth and Hardison's chuckles in the earbud as he deviously set up a program to randomly set off the park's security alarms. All of them, several times throughout the day, including the tornado alert alarms which would result in all the guests being ushered out of the park per company rules.

The next day, they settled onto the couch to watch the security camera feeds as employees tried to put their park to rights. Eliot pulled them in for a hug as he watched the highly-amusing results of their efforts. Rides were going at a tenth of the speed, if they even left the starting queue, and even though most of Parker's hidden merchandise was put back where it belonged, it rang up with the wrong totals thanks to Hardison's playing with the software. Alarms went off sporadically throughout the day, sending customers and employees scurrying, and the three laughed themselves silly at the manager's tantrums.

They kept up their torment for two weeks before a notice of closure stopped their fun. Hardison and Parker complained bitterly about losing their favorite pastime, but Eliot smirked. "It'll only stay closed for as long as it takes you two to put everything back together," he soothed. "When they went bankrupt, I put an offer down on the park and we are now the proud owners." Eliot didn't get much further as he was jumped on by his two very enthusiastic lovers.

Later, in bed resting from their efforts, they were tossing around ideas for their park. "I want a park made up of zip lines and rock walls!" Parker enthused.

"Nah mama, technology is the future. We have to have 3D virtual reality rides; think of all we can program them to do!" Hardison argued even as he traced circles on her bare tummy to make her squirm.

Eliot carefully hid a grin. "I say that we get out those statues Alec made a few years back and make our very own Bibletopia…" he had to quickly roll off the bed to escape the objects thrown in his direction and laughter echoed through the bedroom.


End file.
